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Leo, What Should I Go See?

NEW WEEKLY VIDEO FEATURE: “Leo, What Should I Go See?”  I hope you dig it. Q

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

Colombiana

Our Idiot Brother

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Fright Night 3D Movie Review

When it comes to breaking down a movie like,  “Fright Night,” the last thing anyone needs is an intellectual film critic know-it-all.   Horror purists will balk at the idea of this remake or re-visioning of “Fright Night.” Who even cares!?!  First & foremost, this vampire movie plays by the bloodsucker rulebook.  Unlike the undead in “Twilight,” who walk triumphantly in the the blistering sun, the filmmakers paid attention to the Do’s & Don’ts of the genre.  I appreciate the crosses, garlic, holy water, wooden stakes & finding the hidden masters’ lair.

What’s cool about “Fright Night” is its sexiness.  Jerry (Colin Farrell) is hands down the horniest vampire.  His female take downs are legendary! Strippers, MiLFs & high school hotties. Jerry’s favorite blood type is O….M.G.  Farrell is perfect for the role with his eyes always peering, cautiously sniffing scents & scratching things during his scenes.   On the other hand, Charlie (Anton Yelchin) is the clumsy & pasty kid tasked with doing away with a very tactical, 400 year old vampire.

The acting is solid.  The cast also includes Toni Collette & a good performance from David Tennant, who plays a Las Vegas based occult-heavy magician, Peter Vincent.  Ramin Djawadi’s musical score was just excellent.  It just added a terrific layer of tension.  Also, there’s the 3D factor. I have to say, this time around, the 3D plays really well.  I hope you don’t mind having 3D blood spurting into your face.

The Vampire movie genre is alive and well.  All I can say is, “Fright Night” was the bloodsucking torpedo that sank the USS Twilight for ‘2011’s Coolest Vampire Flick.’  Sorry Twi-hards.

“Fright Night” is Rated R for bloody violence & F Bombs.

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Leo, What Should I Go See? 8.12.11

Here are my thoughts & recommendations  on weekend’s new movie releases.

  • 30 Seconds or Less
  • Final Destination 5
  • The Help

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30 Minutes Or Less Movie Review

Jesse Eisenberg is Nick.   A guy who hates his job, his boss & probably his life.   What does he do for a living?  He delivers pizzas like a NASCAR Ninja in just 30 Minutes or Less.   Nick’s last delivery is gonna be a doozy.  Two second rate losers (Danny McBride & Nick Swardson) hatch a plan to make quick money.  Instead of robbing a bank themselves, they’ll strap a homemade bomb on a stranger & make him do it.

As you’ve seen in the trailer, once the bomb has been planted on Nick, he seeks help from his best friend Chet (Aziz Ansari).  Armed with only knowledge of 80’s action flicks, these two idiots rob the local bank to the tune of 100,00 bucks.

Two familiar faces are scene stealers with limited screen time. First, the hitman (Michael Peña). Very funny.  Also, from TV’s “Rules of Engagement,” is Bianca Kajlich who plays a local stripper. While dancing on Danny McBride, Bianca goes full blown topless. No special digital effects or enhancements. Man, the one time I want 3D & it’s not even there.

The idea of these two numb nuts getting away with this high profile robbery in Grand Rapids, Michigan is certainly a stretch. You’ll just have to go with it.  It’s a straight up rated R stoner comedy.  If you dug “Pineapple Express,” this is your movie.

There’s nothing worse than having a bomb strapped to your chest.  Can you imagine!?!  On the other hand, there’s nothing better than the Film Freak iPhone – iPad App. It’s the movie app that saves you money on movies. Just search Film Freak

I’m not a credible bank robber, but life is fun. Follow me on Twitter @leoquinones



Final Destination 5 Movie Review

There’s an old saying, ‘Give the people what they want.’  And what they want is yet another dose of ” Final Destination.”  The popular film series flies in the face of everything.  It just doesn’t care. It’s all about scary premonitions & Death’s Design.  The TV spots have given away so much. What the audience wants to see, disturbing as it may seem, is beautiful people getting maimed, twisted & crunched in the most incredulous deaths imaginable.

Instead of being shocked & horrified, the crowd just laughs & cheers!  This time around, a bridge collapses & all but eight people on board escape with their lives.  Well, if you’ve seen the trailer, Creepy Coroner guys says, “Death doesn’t like to be cheated.”  One by one the survivors get picked off in a way sinister manner.  Death’s scenarios have been well documented in every TV spot. There’s the Lasik Eye Exam, the gymnast & the sensual Asian massage parlor & more!

When it comes to Final Destination 5, you best not over think it.  I saw it with a sold out crowd & they ate it up.  They were straight up laughing as the actors delivered their ‘serious’ lines.  Every time someone gets taken out, you can hear the ‘Ohhhhhhh-turn-into-sheer-laughs.’

I must admit, Final Destination 5 was super fun.  It’s rated R for extreme violence, but less nudity than Final Destination 4.  What’s up with that?  Personally speaking, I thought Final 3’s topless girl slow-cooking in the tanning bed death was a high point in the series.

The 3D thing is so played out…in the first 5 minutes!  3D opening credits show slow motion with things coming at you all through shattered glass. Yawn.  A hammer. A prosthetic arm. A skull. A tire. A Metal Rod. Yawn. A brick.  By the start of the movie, the 3D is totally on your nerves.  Save 4-5 bucks by seeing Final 5 in 2D.

The Film Freak iPhone App is where it’s at in movies.  It’s the movie app that saves you money on movies.

If I ever have a premontion about Death’s Design, you best follow me on Twitter @leoquinones.  Cuz, when I get that eerie vision, I will certainly Tweet about it & quite possibly save your life.

Thank me later,

Cheers!

Q



The Change Up Movie Review

With all that’s going on in the world today, why not laugh it up!?!  The Change Up is that movie.  The premise is a retread. Two people switching bodies.  I know lots of people are overly critical.  If they had things their way, there would be no more Cop movies, buddy movies, romantic comedies, westerns, etc. It’s been done before. I say, so what!

Ryan Reynolds plays a slacker named Mitch.  A bachelor who engages in sex, lots of it.  Mitch likes it weird & he likes it often.  His post 2am booty calls are just the most vicious passion clashes imaginable. Basically, he’s a stoner with a boner.  His married buddy Dave (Jason Bateman) is just that: Married.  He’s a workaholic lawyer who’s got a wife & three young kids.  The youngest two need to get fed & changed in the middle of the night.  These daddy/kiddie exchanges are worth the price of admission alone.

One night, the guys hit a local bar & relive glory days with a few too many shots. While relieving themselves in a fountain, they blurt out, “I wish I had your life.”  Voila!  The next day, the pair have permeated each other’s body.   Mitch, in Dave’s body becomes a responsible lawyer & Diaper Guy in the middle of the night.  Friggin’ hilarious.

Dave is now sporting Mitch’s body.  Instead of changing diapers in the middle of the night, he’ll most likely be changing condoms.  Yeohhhh! You won’t believe Mitch’s day job & what Dave has to do to keep his boss happy. No spoilers here. Dave’s legal assistant, Sabrina (Olivia Wilde) adds a real layer of sexiness.  As shown in the trailer, she goes out with Mitch’s exterior, but it’s Dave on the inside.  Y’see Dave, always admired Sabrina, in a “You’re-so-scorching-hot-keep-I’m-gonna-keep-my-distance-because-I’m-married” kinda way.

The Change Up is the perfect movie to disconnect & enjoy.  Is it Midnight In Paris?  Not by a longshot & it doesn’t want to be.  I thought Midnight In Paris was terrific.  But, so is this. It’s a sometimes childish, always raunchy Rated R comedy that doesn’t apologize for what it is.  Loosen your tie, drink an ice coldy & laugh it up. It’s just a movie.

Since Mitch dates a lot on a budget, he needs to save money on movies.  That’s why he’s got the Film Freak iPhone app.  Just search Film Freak.

Life is crazy. You can see how crazy mine is by following me on Twitter @leoquinones

Cheers!



Crazy Stupid Love Movie Review

Crazy, Stupid, Love. had a nice movie trailer.  It showed a story of Steve Carell’s character going through tough times with Julianne Moore’s character.  There was another layer in the trailer with Emma Stone’s character getting together with Ryan Gosling’s character.  After seeing this ‘nice’ trailer, I swore to myself, I know this movie. I’ve already seen this movie.

The reality is:  This nice trailer did not do the movie justice at all.  I’m watching the movie thinking to myself, this has twists & unpredictability. After almost three decades of marriage, Cal (Steve Carell) and Emily (Julianne Moore) are just about done as a couple.  While trying to numb himself with booze, Cal meets & befriends Jakob Palmer (Ryan Gosling) a slick swordsmen who snares a smokin’ hot chick every night.

Cal undergoes a Manly Man Makeover & his confidence is boosted.  Across town, Hannah (Emma Stone) is having her own love troubles with her boyfriend Richard (Josh Groban).

There were standout performances from Jonah Bobo as their love-struck 14-year old son. Also, a convincing performance by Analeigh Tipton as the babysitter.  Kevin Bacon & Marisa Tomei are always good in supporting roles.

I’m going to predict: Crazy, Stupid, Love. will garner a Golden Globe nomination in the Best Comedy or Musical category.

Have my movie reviews & talk show podcasts sent to your iPhone with the Film Freak iPhone – iPad App. It’s the movie app that saves you money on movies.  If you don’t get it you just might be CRAZY.  STUPID is too harsh a word. One thing I do know, you’ll LOVE it. Just search Film Freak.

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Horrible Bosses Movie Review

Here’s what I’m diggin’ about “Horrible Bosses.”  It’s true to itself.  Do the math. Three guys, one problem: They hate their bosses.  Dale (Charlie Day) is ridden by his horny, dentist horrible boss, Julia (Jennifer Aniston). Kurt (Jason Sudeikis) takes lumps from his heir, horrible boss, Bobby (Colin Farrell) & Nick (Jason Bateman) has served eight years jumping hurdles for his hideous, horrible boss, Dave (Kevin Spacey).

When the work place becomes too much to bare, these dimwits decide to take drastic measures.  Things unfold, but the jokes aren’t obvious.  They’re like slithering snakes in the grass, waiting & all of a sudden they strike!  It happened quite a lot. Lots of laughs.

I’m 100% done with supposed comedies that are really funny in the 2-minute trailer. Y’know the ones.  Where you find yourself in the theater gasping for any laugh that wasn’t already shown in the previews.

“Horrible Bosses” delivers good old-fashion fun at the movies.  For me, standout performances came from Kevin Spacey & Jason Sudeikis.  For the record, there’s no Jennifer Aniston topless scene.  Hey, don’t shoot the messenger.

If your Horrible Boss hasn’t given you the raise you deserve, never fear.  The Film Freak iPhone – iPad App is here.  Money’s tight & this is the movie app that saves you money on movies. Just go to the App Store & search: Film Freak

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Larry Crowne Movie Review

Tom Hanks wore a ton of hats for his latest movie, “Larry Crowne.”  He wrote, produced, directed & Tweeted almost every day updates from the film’s production.  This is a story about a guy who spent 20 plus years defending America in the Navy.  He then becomes a victim. A victim of the recession.  His U-Mart job gets liquidated, the clincher: Larry Crowne never went to college.   Now he’s headed back to school.

It’s there where he tries to regain his footing on life in general.  He meets the feisty yet friendly leader of a neighborhood Scooter Gang, Talia  (Gugu Mbatha-Raw). Oh & the teacher, Miss Tainot (Julia Roberts) As you already know, Larry Crowne has aspirations of being his teacher’s pet.  Take that any way you’d like.  The movie pushes through different journeys, and you ultimately do end up caring about thesecharacters.

At the end of the day, Larry Crowne is a sweet movie, that takes it’s time ramping up.  Movie critics are so cynical.  They’re out to destroy good ol’ Larry.  Here’s my take.  This isn’t Tom Hanks or Julia Roberts best movie.  So if you’ve grown tired of animated cars, green lanterns, autobots & bad teachers, Larry Crowne offers up something upbeat.

Ever since he was downsized, Larry Crowne has relied on the Film Freak iPhone-iPad App.  It’s the movie app that saves him money on movies.  Search Film Freak

You can follow the likes of Tom Hanks & myself on Twitter @tomhanks @leoquinones



Bad Teacher Movie Review

Everybody has jumped onto the Rated “R” raunchy comedy bandwagon.  I love “R” Rated comedies, but only when they’re funny.  “Bad Teacher” may have been a brilliant idea when it was pitched, but the script, story & execution were just not there.   The character Cameron Diaz plays really isn’t likable.   I mean who really wants to root for the ultimate Golddigger?   All she wants to is kick back, on her back & have her meal ticket spend lots of money on her.  The second banana, Lucy Punch was trying way too hard to be funny, but it really fell way short of laughter.

The students were basically in the background with no real part for any kid to stand out.  I’m racking my brain trying to find something good to say about this film.  Nah, nothing comes to mind.  This movie reminded me of those endless classes, waiting for this movie to end is much like waiting for the dreaded school bell to ring.  C’mon ring already!