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The Lone Ranger Movie Review

I had so wanted for this particular movie to transport me back to the Old West. Didn’t happen. How can The Lone Ranger possibly utter the phrase,”Let’s do this”?  In the past 2 years, just about every woman heading into the gym has used that exact same phrase, “Let’s do this” as their pre-workout status update.  What’s next? Tonto finds his way using Google Maps?

Two things I thoroughly enjoyed. One, Director Gore Verbinksi’s exotic shooting locales.   There are some beautiful shots in this movie. Two. The bad guy. Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner). The make-up application was 2 1/2 hours every day of shooting.

My personal take: I know when CGI (Computer Generated Imagery) takes over the screen. These days, most audiences know too.  So why on earth would you saturate it with so much CGI into a movie set in 1869? To make it more exciting? What’s more exciting than just plain Cowboys & Indians?  What’s more exciting than the thunderous roar of running horses?  What’s more exciting than a good old-fashioned Western? It just doesn’t work.  Tonally, this movie was all over the map.  Serious Western? Revenge Film? Buddy Comedy?  The Lone Ranger will work for boys between the ages of 9 and 14. But even then, the film goes on forever at 2 hours 29 minutes.

The Lone Ranger is a runaway train from the beginning. Too bad it’s headed in the wrong direction.  I’m sorry for the bummer news.  I love movies.  Follow me on Twitter @leoquinones.  You can also hear me every Saturday at 4p PST hosting America’s Longest Running Movie Talk Show, The Film Freak Movie Talk Show on KFWB NewsTalk 980 AM Los Angeles. Listen online at www.kfwbam.com



30 Minutes Or Less Movie Review

Jesse Eisenberg is Nick.   A guy who hates his job, his boss & probably his life.   What does he do for a living?  He delivers pizzas like a NASCAR Ninja in just 30 Minutes or Less.   Nick’s last delivery is gonna be a doozy.  Two second rate losers (Danny McBride & Nick Swardson) hatch a plan to make quick money.  Instead of robbing a bank themselves, they’ll strap a homemade bomb on a stranger & make him do it.

As you’ve seen in the trailer, once the bomb has been planted on Nick, he seeks help from his best friend Chet (Aziz Ansari).  Armed with only knowledge of 80’s action flicks, these two idiots rob the local bank to the tune of 100,00 bucks.

Two familiar faces are scene stealers with limited screen time. First, the hitman (Michael Peña). Very funny.  Also, from TV’s “Rules of Engagement,” is Bianca Kajlich who plays a local stripper. While dancing on Danny McBride, Bianca goes full blown topless. No special digital effects or enhancements. Man, the one time I want 3D & it’s not even there.

The idea of these two numb nuts getting away with this high profile robbery in Grand Rapids, Michigan is certainly a stretch. You’ll just have to go with it.  It’s a straight up rated R stoner comedy.  If you dug “Pineapple Express,” this is your movie.

There’s nothing worse than having a bomb strapped to your chest.  Can you imagine!?!  On the other hand, there’s nothing better than the Film Freak iPhone – iPad App. It’s the movie app that saves you money on movies. Just search Film Freak

I’m not a credible bank robber, but life is fun. Follow me on Twitter @leoquinones



Cowboys and Aliens Movie Review

Director, Jon Favreau took on the toughest job of the summer: Mashing Up two distinct movie genres into one film.  The Old West collides with Alien Invaders.  This was one ride I was ready to take.  For the most part, I was  satisfied with the experience.

One thing that bugged me:  I believe, when the film’s first attached star, Robert Downey Jr. backed out, the casting of Daniel Craig wouldn’t be on my short list of replacement actors.  Daniel Craig simply does not look like a cowboy, (again, my own opinion).  He’s got the cropped haircut & instead of having a little extra padding from eating pork & beans over a open campfire, the guy looks like he spendt endless hours working out on his newfangled P90X machine.

What I liked was the underdog theme.  The humans were clearly on the way out.  The aliens dominated & toyed with the earthlings.  The unique situation forced the cowboys to create an unlikely alliance with the Native Americans. In 1875, the hostilities between the two were unprecedented.   Cynics will tear this movie apart.

Speaking for myself & the sold out midnight crowd, it was simply a fun movie watch.  Go & geek out.  But remember, if you’re gonna go there, try to really go there.  This is what movies are all about, taking us to a place we’ve never been.

If you’d like to have reviews like this sent straight to your iPhone of iPad, get the Film Freak iPhone App in the App Store.  Just search Film Freak. It’s the movie App that saves you money on movies.

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