I can’t stand when someone, who gets to see these movies for FREE has the tenacity to outwardly laugh at bad dialogue. It’s the most selfish thing you can do in a movie.  It serves 2 purposes: (1) You’re attempting to show everyone how smart you are & you know a bad line when you hear it. (2) It pulls anyone out of the film who’s enjoying it.

Regular movie going folks with enjoy Battleship. Based on the 1931 Hasbro game,  it has less to do with real strategic war at sea & more to do with aliens taking over Earth.  I will say the sound design was perfect.  On the other hand, it feels like whole scenes were lifted from other movies like, “Officer & A Gentlemen,” “Independence Day,” and of course, “Transformers.”

Battleship is a long journey from perfection, but I still had fun.  My favorite thing about the movie were the ‘Old Salts,’ World War II vets who actually served on the battleship USS Missouri was very cool.  Rated PG-13.  You can follow me on Twitter @leoquinones

I can’t really compare the two, meaning the movie & the TV series.  I did not go back & revisit the old material.  It’s widely known, that, for better or worse, this is now Tim Burton’s vision.  As seen in the trailers, Barnabas Collins is a vampire buried alive for almost 200 years & released in the year 1972.  This juxtaposition is supposed to the springboard for comedy situations.

But I found the film to be much darker than funny.  You know that old saying, ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?’   Angelique (Eva Green) plays a servant who loves Barnabas Collins. (Johnny Depp) When the relationship goes south, things are compounded by the fact that she’s a witch.  Hence the evil curse she places, which transforms Barnabas into a vampire, doomed for eternal damnation.  She’s gives him the extended dirt nap too.

That’s the central theme at play here.  This rivalry is the films’ beginning, middle & end. The bulk of the humor stems from the way Barnabas reacts to the tackiness of the times.  Johnny Depp is indeed very interesting to watch on screen.  He’s playing alot of this through his extended fingers & eyes.  His  makeup application was very extreme. A bit too much I’m afraid.

I always like to go over Vampire Rules.  Barnabas casts no reflection in the mirror, (1) Point.  Resistance to silver. (1) point. He seeks darkness, (1) point.  Sunlight sizzles his skin & fingertips, (1) point.  Original coffin brought in for slumber, (1) point.  His ability to walk around in broad daylight, MINUS (5) points!   It’s a bloody wash, folks.

Hardcore fans of the ‘Dark Shadows’ TV show have been left for scrap.  It is what it is.  This is signature Tim Burton: Weird & creepy right down the line.   I liked this world, I just wish there were more laughs.  Either it’s a dark vampire movie or it’s an out-and-out comedy. Tone is so tough.  As you’ll see, it’s just about impossible to combine the two. Dark Shadows is rated PG-13.

Barnabas Collins is getting with the times. He’s now following me on Twitter. You can too @leoquinones

The reason is layered.  Let’s tear right into it.  Good Storytelling. Formidable Foes.  Good Acting.  Eye-Popping Special Effects.  Just enough back story on each character.  Genuine Excitement. Smart Humor.  Perfect Tone.  If there’s anything wrong with The Avengers, let someone else bring it to the table.  I was just jacked up on adrenaline.  What’s happened here is a movie miracle.

There’s so much riding on a movie like this.  Not for the studio, but for the fans.  When a comic book movie comes out & falls short of hitting the mark, who always gets burned, the fans.   The Avengers gives Fanboys & Fangirls the right to pump their fists & revel in the fact that their beloved Marvel characters were well taken care of by Mr. Whedon.

Go see The Avengers in theaters. If you’re lucky enough to afford paying full freight, go see it in IMAX 3D. You will not be disappointed.  I can’t imagine anyone not liking this film.  This is what movie-going is all about.

Thanks to Stark Industries technology, you can Follow me on Twitter @leoquinones

Film Freak Movie Report 4.25.2012 from Leo Quinones on Vimeo.