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30 Minutes Or Less Movie Review

Jesse Eisenberg is Nick.   A guy who hates his job, his boss & probably his life.   What does he do for a living?  He delivers pizzas like a NASCAR Ninja in just 30 Minutes or Less.   Nick’s last delivery is gonna be a doozy.  Two second rate losers (Danny McBride & Nick Swardson) hatch a plan to make quick money.  Instead of robbing a bank themselves, they’ll strap a homemade bomb on a stranger & make him do it.

As you’ve seen in the trailer, once the bomb has been planted on Nick, he seeks help from his best friend Chet (Aziz Ansari).  Armed with only knowledge of 80’s action flicks, these two idiots rob the local bank to the tune of 100,00 bucks.

Two familiar faces are scene stealers with limited screen time. First, the hitman (Michael Peña). Very funny.  Also, from TV’s “Rules of Engagement,” is Bianca Kajlich who plays a local stripper. While dancing on Danny McBride, Bianca goes full blown topless. No special digital effects or enhancements. Man, the one time I want 3D & it’s not even there.

The idea of these two numb nuts getting away with this high profile robbery in Grand Rapids, Michigan is certainly a stretch. You’ll just have to go with it.  It’s a straight up rated R stoner comedy.  If you dug “Pineapple Express,” this is your movie.

There’s nothing worse than having a bomb strapped to your chest.  Can you imagine!?!  On the other hand, there’s nothing better than the Film Freak iPhone – iPad App. It’s the movie app that saves you money on movies. Just search Film Freak

I’m not a credible bank robber, but life is fun. Follow me on Twitter @leoquinones



The Help Movie Review

“The Help” is a New York Times Best Seller written by Kathryn Stockett.   The story takes place in Jackson Mississippi during the late 50’s to the early 60’s.   I love period pieces that transport me back to any point in time.  Books & the internet are all fine & good, but a well-acted movie tends to resonate with me on a higher level. I need to see it.

The Help wouldn’t take anyone back if the acting wasn’t on point.  The cast was perfect.  The movie shines a big bright spotlight on what it must’ve been like as an African American maid raising & caring for well-to-do white children.  Abileen (Viola Davis) is the emotional anchor & you are pulling for her every singe second she’s on the screen.  Minny (Octavia Spencer) is so magnificent & sassy & quite the baker using the most creative spices.

Back to the employers. I’ve seen the Freddy Kruegers, the vicious aliens & the Michael Myers.  I will tell you now, there’s nothing more evil than a group of uppity white women from the south with hate in their hearts.  It will chill you to the bone.  Bryce Dallas Howard turns in an amazing performance as manipulative & bigoted Hilly Holbrook.  Finally there’s Skeeter. (Emma Stone) She’s a pistol with something to say & a way to say it.  Instead of hunkering down to raise a family, she’s graduated from college & looking to make a difference any way, any how.  Skeeter’s got her head on right. Y’see Skeeter was raised by an African American maid Constantine. (Cicely Tyson)

At the time, racial tensions were escalated to the point of critical mass.   This story angles in on domestic issues not widely publicized.  Case in point, African American maids were discouraged, if not straight out prohibited to use a white family’s toilet.  They were built crude outhouses. The reason was because white families thought they were protecting their children.  The real reason: Insanity. Prejudice. Ignorance.

No one really knew of such cruelty. That is until Skeeter got it in her mind to interview the maids about the plight of their lives.   Met with fear & resistance, the maids ultimately banded together as a group of courageous ghost writers telling their stories.  The stories range from young to old, funny to heartbreaking.

I enjoyed seeing The Help. It shows just how far we’ve come as a nation. Sadly, it also shows how little we’ve come as a nation.  People out there who used to say, ‘you can’t use the white people’s toilet!’  It’s hard to imagine there are people out there today saying, ‘You can’t use our White House.’  The ugly face of racism is crippling America & it saddens me.  Get over the hate people & let’s move forward.

I’m not sorry about getting into a sticky subject.  The Help is a movie that opens up a festering wound.  If someone you know slags off this film as something, ‘We’ve all seen before,’ ‘been there, done that.’  Y’might wanna take a look closer at that person.  What are their reasons for avoiding this movie?  If that’s the case, do yourself & them a favor, take them to see this movie. Couldn’t hurt right?

The Film Freak iPhone – iPad App saves you money on movies!  Just Search Film Freak.

You can also follow me on Twitter @leoquinones



Final Destination 5 Movie Review

There’s an old saying, ‘Give the people what they want.’  And what they want is yet another dose of ” Final Destination.”  The popular film series flies in the face of everything.  It just doesn’t care. It’s all about scary premonitions & Death’s Design.  The TV spots have given away so much. What the audience wants to see, disturbing as it may seem, is beautiful people getting maimed, twisted & crunched in the most incredulous deaths imaginable.

Instead of being shocked & horrified, the crowd just laughs & cheers!  This time around, a bridge collapses & all but eight people on board escape with their lives.  Well, if you’ve seen the trailer, Creepy Coroner guys says, “Death doesn’t like to be cheated.”  One by one the survivors get picked off in a way sinister manner.  Death’s scenarios have been well documented in every TV spot. There’s the Lasik Eye Exam, the gymnast & the sensual Asian massage parlor & more!

When it comes to Final Destination 5, you best not over think it.  I saw it with a sold out crowd & they ate it up.  They were straight up laughing as the actors delivered their ‘serious’ lines.  Every time someone gets taken out, you can hear the ‘Ohhhhhhh-turn-into-sheer-laughs.’

I must admit, Final Destination 5 was super fun.  It’s rated R for extreme violence, but less nudity than Final Destination 4.  What’s up with that?  Personally speaking, I thought Final 3’s topless girl slow-cooking in the tanning bed death was a high point in the series.

The 3D thing is so played out…in the first 5 minutes!  3D opening credits show slow motion with things coming at you all through shattered glass. Yawn.  A hammer. A prosthetic arm. A skull. A tire. A Metal Rod. Yawn. A brick.  By the start of the movie, the 3D is totally on your nerves.  Save 4-5 bucks by seeing Final 5 in 2D.

The Film Freak iPhone App is where it’s at in movies.  It’s the movie app that saves you money on movies.

If I ever have a premontion about Death’s Design, you best follow me on Twitter @leoquinones.  Cuz, when I get that eerie vision, I will certainly Tweet about it & quite possibly save your life.

Thank me later,

Cheers!

Q