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The Lone Ranger Movie Review

I had so wanted for this particular movie to transport me back to the Old West. Didn’t happen. How can The Lone Ranger possibly utter the phrase,”Let’s do this”?  In the past 2 years, just about every woman heading into the gym has used that exact same phrase, “Let’s do this” as their pre-workout status update.  What’s next? Tonto finds his way using Google Maps?

Two things I thoroughly enjoyed. One, Director Gore Verbinksi’s exotic shooting locales.   There are some beautiful shots in this movie. Two. The bad guy. Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner). The make-up application was 2 1/2 hours every day of shooting.

My personal take: I know when CGI (Computer Generated Imagery) takes over the screen. These days, most audiences know too.  So why on earth would you saturate it with so much CGI into a movie set in 1869? To make it more exciting? What’s more exciting than just plain Cowboys & Indians?  What’s more exciting than the thunderous roar of running horses?  What’s more exciting than a good old-fashioned Western? It just doesn’t work.  Tonally, this movie was all over the map.  Serious Western? Revenge Film? Buddy Comedy?  The Lone Ranger will work for boys between the ages of 9 and 14. But even then, the film goes on forever at 2 hours 29 minutes.

The Lone Ranger is a runaway train from the beginning. Too bad it’s headed in the wrong direction.  I’m sorry for the bummer news.  I love movies.  Follow me on Twitter @leoquinones.  You can also hear me every Saturday at 4p PST hosting America’s Longest Running Movie Talk Show, The Film Freak Movie Talk Show on KFWB NewsTalk 980 AM Los Angeles. Listen online at www.kfwbam.com

Film Freak Movie Talk Show Podcast 6.9.12

The Film Freak Movie Talk Show shines the light on the biggest movies again this week! Still going strong “Marvel’s The Avengers” continues it’s epic run in the Top 10. Mark Ruffalo AKA Bruce Banner gives over awesome info about becoming the big green machine, The Hulk! Leo also forks over awesome audio from the android himself “David”, Michael Fassbender, not found in this weekends’ “Prometheus”. Also stars from Wes Anderson’s awesome movie “Moonrise Kingdom” stop by and have a chat with Leo. Finally, the most rocking out loud movie coming out this summer “Rock of Ages”, gets it’s epic soundtrack dissected by Leo!! Plus, Leo gets the Gotham City Gossip from Bill of BATMAN ON FILM. Follow Leo Quinones on Twitter @leoquinones everyone’s doing it, even the epic rocker Stacee Jaxx!!

Movie Review: Dark Shadows

As a kid, I barely remember the TV soap opera, “Dark Shadows.”  The eerie theme song is forever seared in my memory.   Tim Burton, Michelle Pfieffer & Johnny Depp were also Children of the Corn-y soap.  Leave it to Tim & Johnny to pick ‘Shadows’ as their vampire vehicle.

I can’t really compare the two, meaning the movie & the TV series.  I did not go back & revisit the old material.  It’s widely known, that, for better or worse, this is now Tim Burton’s vision.  As seen in the trailers, Barnabas Collins is a vampire buried alive for almost 200 years & released in the year 1972.  This juxtaposition is supposed to the springboard for comedy situations.

But I found the film to be much darker than funny.  You know that old saying, ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?’   Angelique (Eva Green) plays a servant who loves Barnabas Collins. (Johnny Depp) When the relationship goes south, things are compounded by the fact that she’s a witch.  Hence the evil curse she places, which transforms Barnabas into a vampire, doomed for eternal damnation.  She’s gives him the extended dirt nap too.

That’s the central theme at play here.  This rivalry is the films’ beginning, middle & end. The bulk of the humor stems from the way Barnabas reacts to the tackiness of the times.  Johnny Depp is indeed very interesting to watch on screen.  He’s playing alot of this through his extended fingers & eyes.  His  makeup application was very extreme. A bit too much I’m afraid.

I always like to go over Vampire Rules.  Barnabas casts no reflection in the mirror, (1) Point.  Resistance to silver. (1) point. He seeks darkness, (1) point.  Sunlight sizzles his skin & fingertips, (1) point.  Original coffin brought in for slumber, (1) point.  His ability to walk around in broad daylight, MINUS (5) points!   It’s a bloody wash, folks.

Hardcore fans of the ‘Dark Shadows’ TV show have been left for scrap.  It is what it is.  This is signature Tim Burton: Weird & creepy right down the line.   I liked this world, I just wish there were more laughs.  Either it’s a dark vampire movie or it’s an out-and-out comedy. Tone is so tough.  As you’ll see, it’s just about impossible to combine the two. Dark Shadows is rated PG-13.

Barnabas Collins is getting with the times. He’s now following me on Twitter. You can too @leoquinones


VIDEO: Velvet Red TV Episode March 16th, 2012

In this week’s episode of Velvet Red TV, we cover “21 Jump Street,” & take you to the Velvet Red Carpet Premiere of, “Jeff, Who Lives At Home.”  Also, enter to win the Weekly giveaway & find out what’s hot in fashion.  Hosted by Ellen K., Kinga Philipps & Leo Quinones.

VIDEO: First Look Dark Shadows Trailer

Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows goes for the laughs.  It’s a fish-out-of-water story, with a vampire.  Unlike Team Edward, Barnabas Collins is a vampire who doesn’t cast a reflection in the mirror.  This looks fun & silly to me.   I can’t wait.

VIDEO: Shocking 21 Jump Street Public Service Announcement

Jonah Hill & Channing Tatum with words that may just in fact save your life!

First Pic! Johnny Depp as Tonto, Armie Hammer as The Lone Ranger

Producer Jerry Bruckheimer is changing history.  It looks like Tonto is getting top billing!  He tweeted today, “Tonto and The Lone Ranger Ride Again!”  Gore Verbinksi directs.  I will admit, Depp’s look in this pic only is far from what I imagined.  I thought Depp was going to play it much more natural.  Interesting choice with the headpiece too.  Not just Native American feathers, but an entire bird!  It’s also good to see Armie Hammer is loose clothes.  No one wants to see a P90X cowboy.

I’m very excited to see The Lone Ranger May 21, 2013!

Kimosabi, you can follow me on Twitter @leoquinones

Johnny Depp at Vampire Barnabas Collins

Check out Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins, a blood-sucking lad from Liverpool, England circa 1752. Tim Burton’s “Dark Shadows” creeps into theaters May 11th.  I remember that show from when I was a kid.  Johnny Depp used to race home to watch it after school.  Johnny said, he didn’t know what it was about, but he knew, it was weird!

Chronicle Movie Review

Andrew Detmer (Dane DeHaan) is a teenager with real problems.  His father Richard (Mike Kelly) is a real bastard.  He’s just plain mean.  Everything bad in this man’s life is going to be taken out on his son.  In a effort to fight back, Andrew decides to start filming his day-to-day life.   Millions of young people do this everyday on their iPhones, iPads or Flip Cams.  NO SPOILERS HERE

Something happens to Andrew and his cousin, Matt Garetty (Alex Russell)  and a guy he knows from high school, Steve Montgomery (Michael B. Jordan).  As you’ve seen in the Chronicle movie trailer, the trio soon begin having telekinetic ability.   At first, this new talent is only used for practical jokes & insane juggling.

Didn’t Marvel’s Stan Lee write, ‘With great power comes great responsibility.’  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that these accelerating powers, Andrew would soon be going to the Dark Side.  There’s a steady build the does indeed have a payoff at the end.  There were shots in this film that were so clever and well executed.  This is pure Sci-Fi fun.

You don’t need Telekenetic, X Men like powers to know what’s happening in movies, just Follow Me on Twitter @leoquinones

The Film Freak Movie Talk Show 1.14.12

Leo Quinones welcomes acting legend James Cromwell and star of  “The Artist”.  Leo also recaps the Critic’s Choice Awards!

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